Chinesischer Privatdetektiv

A guy suspected that his wife was cheating on him, so he hired a Chinese detective...the cheapest one he could find.
This is his report...

Most honorable sir!
You leave house. I watch house. He come house. I watch.
He and she leave house. I follow.
He and she go hotel. I climb tree. I look window.
He kiss she. She kiss he.
He strip she. She strip he.
He play with she. She play with he.
I play with me. I fall off tree. I no see.
No fee,
Cheng Lee